"Death and All His Friends"

I went to a funeral last week. I hate going to funerals. There are the obvious reasons why funerals are hard, but they always end up stirring up in me a handful of "extra" emotions.

I've never really made peace with death. I'm not sure if I ever will this side of heaven, it's just so unnatural, but I know people who say "I'm ready to go whenever the Lord takes me." That's not me. Well, I should say, I'm not scared of the actual death part, it's the days, months, years before that I dread. Really, I fear the fear. Does that make sense? I'm afraid of the sadness and the tears and the "lasts". Once I make it to heaven I'm all good. I'm hoping to look like Gisele and dance like Beyonce, but I can't stand to think about the goodbyes before hand.

Coldplay has a song called "Death and All His Friends," and it seemed like an appropriate title for this post. There's the death death that's and obvious death, but what about all of his friends? The little deaths we face while everyday while we're still here. The death of a friendship, a marriage, a dream, an expectation for a child. You name it, we face "mini" deaths all the time.

So, what do we do with these kind of deaths? How do we respond? It's not unlike the choices a person with cancer has to wrestle with. And as far as I can think, there are three of them out there. We can kick and scream and fight and live in anger and bitterness towards God. We can live as a victim and give up. Or, we can somehow, through God's grace and mercy, make peace with where we are and suffer well. Suffer rightly...with a purpose of bringing glory to God. I tell myself all the time "Either God is sovereign or He isn't. There's no in between."

Last week, the January 22nd reading out of "Jesus Calling" said this....pretty much what I was wrestling with after the funeral. (These readings are written as if Jesus were speaking to us."

"Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste your energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment- accepting things as they exactly are- and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances."

Okay, God. I get it. Again...