K.I.S.S.

No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not sick. No, I didn't run away and leave the Chinese girl behind. Quite honestly, I'm just all emotioned out. Wink. Wink. Part 2 may have to wait years because all that deep thinking and gooey emotion kind of made me nauseous. Before last Monday, I had been on a crying, emotional roller coaster for 5 solid weeks. Nothing happened that I can remember, but last Monday marked the end of my emotional binge. I'm sure the relief is temporary, but I've had a solid week of what I call "business mode" and I've gotten so much done! My kids and husband my leave me, but, man, life is getting organized and streamlined. Cuttin' out the fat!

I'm not a big fan of acronyms. I generally think they're cheesy and immature. (Remember LYLAS? Ugh. Never was true.) But, K.I.S.S. has been my motto for this great week of productivity.... Keep It Simple, Stupid. Sure. Sounds great. Who needs fluff anyway??? So, in honor of this Holiday season or just life's craziness, here are my great discoveries from the week for how to have a simpler life. (In bullet form, of course.)

• All you need for fall is one pair of boots. One. That's it. Find one good pair of cognac or neutral colored leather boots and wear them everyday, with everything....black, brown, gray, navy, skirt, JEGGINGS, dress I don't care, just wear them. (See below for my pick...Steve Madden, Candace, $99)

• Stop counting to three with the kids. Really. It's a waste of time. They know it and so do you.
• Go old school. Remember when Monday night dinner was meatloaf night. Tuesday was roast. Wednesday was gravy steak. You get the point. I'm bringing the old school dinner rotation back, baby! Easy meals that everyone likes that are fool proof...that's what I'm going for. And if you don't like it, you don't eat.
• Three Christmas presents each. That's it. Gotta problem with it? Call Santa cause I ain't listenin'. Oh, and Santa doesn't make Lego's, Polly Pockets, puzzles or Lincoln Logs anymore. I just don't have time to find the extra special Jedi Knight Prince of Persia Power Ranger you lost.
• Throw out all your old makeup. It just takes up space and breaks and gets everything else nasty. All the products you need out everyday is what you use for your "basic face." For me that's foundation, mascara, blush and gloss. (For a night out, just add red lips instead and you're done. Total glamour.)
• Don't do anything for your kids that they can do themselves. I knew I had been "doing" for way too long when Jeb asked me to just please come watch him go potty. That's disturbing! He's 4. Have I really been going to watch him potty all these years? Gross.
• Learn to say no. Nooooooo. No. No, thank you. Good luck with making 500 iced cookies... suckerrrrrrr! Doesn't matter how you say it, just figure out a way that you can get it out and just say no. There are a ton of "good" things that we could all do but are they the best things for us to spend our time on?
• Finally, and most importantly, if you color your hair out of a box, just buy whatever's cheapest. I've tried every brand out there and can't tell one bit of difference. Save yourself money and go buy a latte instead.