Sweet Tea

Isabel our guide gave us some papers last night about Collins. She had Collins "finding ad" from where they placed her picture and finding info in the paper to see if anyone would come forward to "claim" her. Isabel also had answers to some questions that we had for the orphanage. One of the questions was "Who named Mingjiao and what does her name mean?" Dr. Li, the orphanage doctor, named her. Li is her last name and it is for the Licheng District which was where she was found. Her first name Ming means "tea" and Jiao means "sweet." Sweet tea.

Born to be a Southern girl after all!

Jerod and I went and hid downstairs in the lobby to see her as she came in. She walked in holding the hands of two nannies with Dr. Li in front of them. She had on pink pj's that we sent her and some yellow crocs that were in a care package to her recently. (We later found out that she had gotten sick on the train on the way in and they had to put her pj's on her.) We headed up the stairs as they were in the elevator and debabted if we should go on up or give them a second to get settled. Jerod said he was going up so I followed him to the 3rd floor.

She was sitting on a couch with the nurse of the orphanage and a nanny. I walked up and sat down on the floor in front of her. She just stared at me. I started pulling all my "tricks" out of my bag. First was a toy telephone. Nope. Then a kitty stuffed animal. Nope. Next was a sucker. Yep. She held it but never ate it. Then came the

Hello Kitty stickers. Winner!

We walked into a board room to do the paperwork. I had stopped to talk to a family in the hall and when I came in the room this is what I saw

Jerod had totally won her over and they were looking at pictures on the camera.

Until this point I hadn't held her yet. I finally decided to give it a try and see what she would do. We sat down and she sat in my lap for a few minutes. Then something clicked and reality set in. She started crying and reaching for her nanny. I put her down and she went over to her. The nanny said "Mama" and motioned for her to come to me. Collins shook her head no and leaned back into the nanny. Ugh. How hard is this for her. Can you imagine? Anyway, her nanny put her down and I picked her up a few seconds later. These big tears started to roll down her face. The nanny brought me a juice box to give to her and Collins sucked it down. I sat down with her to play in the floor and she started to cry again. This time, though, it was interesting. She wanted to go to the nanny but she wanted me to carry her over there. Big step forward. I did and Collins and I shared a chair with her nanny for a minute.

We took some pictures with the people from the orphanage and signed some more papers.

They gave us a bag with some snacks for her and some really sweet things: a photo album with pictures of her and her friends, a wrapped box with soil from the orphanage, a lockett for a long and healthy life, and the clothes she was found in.

It seemed like the paperwork was over in a split second and everyone disappeared. The nannies left as well as Dr. Li and so now it's just Jerod, me and Collins. She starts crying again and this time it's loud. She's reaching for the door and looking around for them. I kind of wanted them to come back too. Her cry was so sad.

We made our way up to our room and the tears kept coming. Jerod and I would distract her for a minute but everytime she looked at me she would start crying again. I was a reminder of her "mama" (that's what she called her) that just left her. At one point, Collins took my hand and lead me to the door. We walked into the hall and she headed for the stairs. I had to just pick her up and walk back in the room. This is where I just have to trust God to fill in the gaps where I can't. I felt so helpless that I couldn't even communicate with about what was going on and why.

This picture is right after we got back in the room and she's crying for her "mama." But even though she is crying for her, she's letting me hold her and comfort her which a great thing.

She cried for awhile and then I pulled out the bubbles. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! She loved them. Got my first smile then. I also got to feed her some fruit snacks which is a big deal. We played for the next hour. She loved the Collins baby doll (thanks, Meredith) and then she got all into these Dollar Store disco ball key chains. She would take them out and put them back in these little stacking cups.

We went down to the restuarant in the hotel to eat but it didn't last. Collins was so tired. She never cried, she just fell asleep in my lap at the table. I brought her up to the room and laid with her until she fell back asleep. She's been asleep ever since.

I can't remember the last time I had this surreal of a day. So strange and yet, oddly, really "normal." Everyday is going to bring it's challenges, but today was a good day.... even with the tears.